In the twelve years since I started Applewood Farm Publications I have been blessed with endless deadlines. Projects for patterns, books, magazines, television appearances all followed one after the other. Teaching jobs lined up, a few at first and then more each year. I’ve been all over the country (so far I’ve been to over half of the states!) and Australia too (wouldn’t I love to go back there!). Pretty cool opportunities, like designing fabric and product development have presented terrific challenges to keep life interesting and busy.
It has been terrific, because it was great fun along with the hard work. All of the heady experiences (Simply Quilts! Twice!) were exciting because I just didn’t believe they were really happening to me. I’m just a quilter, after all, not a televison star, but there I was, on a really-for-real sound stage in Beautiful Downtown Burbank. Who knew?
Quilters have liked my designs well enough to pay good money for the patterns, always a bit of a surprise to me. My background is in science. The only art class I took in college ended with the professor suggesting that science was a good career choice for me. Yet here I am designing little bits of fabric art as if I knew what I was doing.
I love, love, love to teach. (Lectures still make me a little queasy, but I can pull out the quilts and it’s all good.) The novelty of airline travel has long worn off but now that I’ve figured out how to work an mp3 player and download audio books I’m almost looking forward to my next day in midair. (And it doesn’t hurt that I can also sometimes get bumped up to first class where there is enough room for my long legs. It sure is easier to get off the plane if my feet haven’t fallen asleep.) Not much makes me happier than a classroom full of eager students, open to laughter and playing with fabric.
But somewhere along the way I tipped over from being a mom that quilted to a business owner, author and teacher. In the process I found myself giving up a lot of my favorite things. No, I can’t work in the garden today, I have an article due. No, I can’t redecorate the kitchen, I have a book to edit. No, I can’t start in a new direction, this path is too well worn. No, no, no.
For while now (can’t say for sure when it started) I’ve been chafing at my quilted collar. To be perfectly honest I’ve been on the edge of bagging the whole deal more than a few times. Enough already. I want time to sew, bake, garden, read. Put a fork in me baby, I’m so done. Now, the last thing I want to do is whine. I know how blessed I am to have the career I do. My BFF, Karen, would call it “crying hungry with a loaf of bread under my arm.” But have you ever found yourself thinking that, man, this used to be so great, but geesh, what happened?
Luckily, commitments have kept me moving forward. Teaching jobs exhaust my body but replenish my spirit. Writing is a lovely joy, untangling words to capture a picture. Deadlines always have a terrific way of focusing one’s attention, that is for sure.
Since meeting my last deadline at the end of April I have given myself time to do all of the things I’ve missed, and (*gasp*) even do nothing at all. It’s been a time of reconsidering. I’ve been purging my stash, donating the stuff that no longer fits with the kind of quilts I make and reorganizing the stuff I’ve kept. Next I will whittle down and sort my thread stash, and make room for some of the new materials I’d like to use.
It’s been a time of reflection. Where do I want to go next? These weeks without direction have been both a challenge (like putting a type A personality in an empty room for an hour with nothing to do but retie her shoes) and a blessing. I can feel my internal spring gently uncoiling, relaxing. No longer drowned out by the shouting schedule, new ideas are perching nearby, peacefully waiting for my attention. And I want to play with them!
Instead of the no, no, no to distractions winding me tighter and tighter, I feel quietly poised for the next step.
My sister Stephanie is sewing for charity. She’s raising money for breast cancer research, making adorable fabric drink coasters. Check out her Etsy shop,
So, off went two big boxes, bolt ends left over from kits, batting samples, more fat quarters. Steph thinks I’m being generous, but I’m not, really. She’s doing me a huge favor by taking the stuff off my hands! What good is having a stash if it’s just taking up space? There are so many charities that can put our stash mistakes to good use. Even if we don’t have the time or the interest to sew for charity we can still be helpful by making donations.
Beth Ferrier is known the world over for her fun approach to quiltmaking. She's the owner of Applewood Farm Publications. Visit her web site at: